Part 2 of the family notifications...

Well, last night we had our pre-Christmas get together at my dad's house. We ended up telling them the news. My sister Sandy was like if you don't tell them I am. Haha. She can't stand keeping secrets. I'm surprised she made it the 3 days she did. So 1/2 way through the night my sister was talking to my dad's wife about babies and stuff. I guess trying to feel them out or bring up the subject of babies. Then she kept looking at me and John and smiling, like if you don't tell now I'm going to. So finally John was like ok everyone, Traci and I have some exciting news to share with all of you. Marge (my dad's wife's mother blurted out Your having a baby)! Of course my eyes filled up with tears and I started crying again. They were all very happy and giving us hugs and stuff. I couldn't control my crying though. Its not that I'm not happy... really. It is just that I'm really scared. Life as we know it is changing and will be no more. I'm scared about financially being ok and of course about gaining too much weight. Luckily for me I hardly eat because of always being nauseous. I'm also scared about being a good parent. What if I seriously suck as a mom. I mean, I really don't think I will but you know. Then I wonder about what the little munchkin will be like. She or he will be a good kid of course and happy. I refuse to have a bad child. I know that all children have their "moments" but when I see kids being bad, running around like crazy, and being mean or disrespectful it seriously drives me insane and I feel like going up and smacking them myself! I guess because we weren't raised like that and we were for the most part "good kids." When we were out with our parents whether it was dinner, the mall, movies, or whatever we were always very good and if we weren't we knew we would be punished when we got home! All my parents had to do was give us that "look". I'm sure it will all be fine, we'll be fine, and our lil munchkin will be fine. I just worry, stress, and obsess about everything. Maybe it is the Virgo in me... who knows. Its just something I do all the time. Now all we have to do is tell John's family. That will be done this weekend as he wants to tell them in person, rather than over the phone. I also think its better that way. I'm sure that they will be happy as well. Everyone is very happy for us, John is very happy, and so am I. I'm just scared to death and I think still partially in denial. I know its silly and it will pass and I will be fine. We have very loving and supportive network of family and friends and that I am thankful for...