Seriously upset with my doctor...

Ok, so after much thought about the whole ultrasound thing and being upset about them saying that I can't get one until 18-20 weeks. I decided to take John's and some others advice and call the doctor to see if I could get one anyway. I spoke to the nurse because they said the doctor wasn't available and I explained my situation to her, my thoughts, and why I would feel more comfortable having an ultrasound and me personally seeing that in fact everything is ok with the development of the baby and how its growing. I seriously think it could be considered begging! I even told them that I would pay for it if I had to. She went and got my file and came back and basically said NO! She explained to me that all of my test results came back with good numbers and everything seems ok. If the doctor had any serious concerns she would take measures to check them out. They found the heartbeat at my last appointment and it sounded good. It was seriously done in 5 seconds, how do I know. She then proceeded to tell me not to worry about it or loose any sleep over it she is sure everything is fine. She said I will get my ultrasound at about 18-20 weeks and then its great because I get to find out if it's a boy or a girl. I am seriously so pissed! Right now I am not worried about if it is a girl or a boy, I just want to see the lil munchkin, and know it is where it belongs, and everything looks good. Is that so wrong of me??? I don't think so. I got so mad and started bitching to John about it and told him I seriously think I want to change doctors at this point. He told me I'm being silly and I can't do that. If things with this doctor doesn't change quickly I am seriously going to. I don't care if I have to go find a midwife and pop the lil munchkin out at home on my bedroom floor... I will! It isn't my fault that my doctor is over crowded or whatever the problem is and can't take time to spend with their patients and insurance companies seem to suck and don't want to pay for anything!